Clarity before chemistry: why purpose comes first
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Hey Girl Vibes Sisters 💜
Let’s talk.
A lot of us are entering romantic relationships without first understanding our purpose.
And because we’re not clear on who we are or where we’re going, we end up settling for people or situations that distract us, not develop us.Let’s be honest — many of us grew up being told to find love, settle down, or “just be a good girl.”
But nobody really sat us down to say, “Who are you really? What do you want out of life?”That’s where purpose comes in.
It’s not just about a job or a big dream — it’s about knowing why you exist, what matters to you, what you believe, and what kind of life you want to live — with or without a partner.And here’s the thing:
When you know your purpose, you stop begging to be loved because you’re already full of meaning.I’m still figuring mine out too and that’s why I created this post.
✨ I want us to start this journey together.
✨ Let’s ask the hard questions.
✨ Let’s be honest with ourselves.
✨ Let’s heal and grow — in purpose, not pressure.By supporting the Girl Vibes Forum and engaging in conversations like this, you’re not just reading you’re discovering.
We’re creating a safe space to explore purpose, confidence, boundaries, love everything real.You don’t have to figure it out alone. Let’s find clarity together.
Drop a comment if this hit you.
Have you ever been in love and realized later “I didn’t even know myself back then”?Let’s talk
With love,
Evelyn 💜
#GirlVibesAmbassador
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Wow this really made me think 😔. I’ve never even asked myself what I want out of life before. I just always thought love would come first. Now I feel like maybe I need to figure out ME first. Thanks for sharing this, Evelyn 💜
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This hit hard 💯. I’m just learning how to stop performing for people and start asking myself what actually makes me happy. I used to think being in a relationship would fix my low confidence, but now I get that I need to fix it from inside. 💜
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I once liked someone so much I forgot who I was. I started changing how I dressed, how I talked, even what I liked. He left, and I had to find my way back to myself. Never again. This post felt like a mirror. Purpose first from now on 💯
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Wow, Evelyn. I’ve been asking myself “what am I really here for?” lately. It’s scary because I don’t have all the answers yet, but this post reminded me that I’m not alone in that. I want love, but not at the cost of losing myself again. 🥹
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I love this topic. I’m in that space where I’m building a life that reflects who I really am, and I’ve realized that not everyone I once dated could come with me on that journey. Knowing my purpose helped me raise my standards — in love and in life. 💫
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I once told a guy “I’ll shrink myself to make you stay.” That was 3 years ago. Today I journal, I pray, I create — and I know who I am becoming. This conversation is so needed. You can’t attract what aligns with you if you don’t know who you are first. 💜
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Evelyn, this should be a podcast episode, for real. I’ve had therapy sessions where I cried because I realized I was addicted to being chosen — not aligned. Purpose helps you choose yourself, even when it’s lonely. Thank you for starting this convo 💜
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Whew. 🙌 I’m in a season where purpose guides everything — who I date, who I keep around, how I spend my time. I once loved someone so hard I lost myself. I’m never going back there again. This kind of conversation? Life-giving. Let’s keep going.
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Love is beautiful, but without clarity, it becomes a distraction. I used to chase potential in men, now I chase peace in me. Thank you for this, Evelyn. May more young women have the courage to choose themselves early. 💜
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Preach, sis 👏. I’ve built businesses and boundaries — but I had to unlearn the idea that “being chosen” means I’m valuable. Purpose taught me that I choose me first. Everything else must align or be left behind. Let’s talk more on this 🙌
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This is one of the most powerful things I’ve read in a while. In my first marriage, I didn’t know who I was. I confused being chosen with being fulfilled. Now, after everything I’ve healed from, I realize purpose isn’t optional — it’s foundational. A relationship should complement your clarity, not compete with it. I’m so proud to see younger women having this conversation. Let’s keep walking each other home, in purpose and in truth 💜
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This part: “confused being chosen with being fulfilled” 😮💨 That hit different. I’m learning to choose me first. Thank you, ma ❤️
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As someone rebuilding her life in her 30s, I just want to say… thank you. Women like you remind us that growth doesn’t stop. That love isn’t something we chase — it’s something we become. 🙏🏽
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This line belongs in a book: “A relationship should complement your clarity, not compete with it.” I’ve made this my new standard. Thank you for pouring into us 💜
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There’s so much quiet power in what you said. I’ve made peace with letting go of people who couldn’t grow with me, and it’s women like you who make that path less lonely. Thank you, Evelyn 🌿
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I respect this deeply. Your story reminds me that healing is layered — and purpose takes time, but it’s worth it. I’m grateful for your voice here. 💜
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Wow. You spoke for so many of us who grew up being told that “being chosen” was the goal. I’m unlearning a lot, and your words just gave me more courage to stay the course. Thank you 💫
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Evelyn, this is the kind of wisdom that needs to be on billboards. You make healing feel possible. I’m learning not to rush things anymore. 🙏
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I felt every word. I’ve been questioning myself a lot lately — if I even know who I am. Your story gives me hope that it’s never too late to start again. Thank you 💜
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Wow Evelyn 😢 I never thought about relationships like this. Thank you for sharing something so deep. I want to grow up and not lose myself.
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I honestly needed to hear this today. It’s crazy how many of us are taught to chase love before we even find ourselves. Thank you for showing us a better way. 🫶🏾
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I am glad my write up hit you guys differently. I have dropped another episode on how to start finding your purpose. We can do this guys
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