Clarity before chemistry: why purpose comes first
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Hey Girl Vibes Fam 💜
In our last episode — Clarity Before Chemistry — we talked about how relationships without direction can cost us our peace, our growth, and even our identity.
But I want to take it deeper.
What if you know you’re not clear yet?
What if you’re standing in that awkward space where you’re asking,
“Who am I really… and what am I even doing with my life?”Let me be honest with you — that place is uncomfortable, but it’s also sacred.
Because that’s where purpose starts:
👉 Not when you have all the answers,
👉 But when you stop pretending and finally admit, “I need to figure me out.”Purpose doesn’t always come with a loud voice or a perfect plan.
Sometimes, it begins with a small discomfort, a repeated thought, a breakup, or even a quiet nudge that says,
“You were made for more.”If that’s you, you’re not behind.
You’re just in the purpose fog — and I promise, clarity is coming.🟣 Let’s talk:
💬 Have you ever felt stuck in that space between lost and becoming?
💬 What helped you move forward, even just a little?This series isn’t about being perfect. It’s about being real — and finding ourselves before we try to give ourselves to someone else.
Let’s keep going.
Let’s keep growing.
Together.— Evelyn 💜
#GirlVibesAmbassador
#PurposeBeforePartnership
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Honestly I feel like I don’t even know who I am yet. Sometimes I copy people online just to feel like I belong. But lately I started journaling what I like, not what’s trending. It’s small, but it’s helping me figure myself out
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I really needed to hear this. I’m always crushing on someone or wanting to be in a relationship, but I don’t even understand myself fully. I think I’m scared to be alone with my thoughts, but I’m learning to sit with them. It’s hard sha 😅 but I’m trying.
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Wow, this hit home. I stayed in a situationship for almost a year because I thought being wanted meant I had value. But I’ve been focusing on who I want to be instead of who wants me. It’s lonely sometimes, but I feel more honest.
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I’m definitely in that purpose fog right now. Just left home for uni and everything feels unfamiliar — even me. But I started going on solo walks with my music and asking myself deep questions. No answers yet, but I feel less fake.
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Not when you have all the answers, but when you stop pretending.’ Whew! That’s me. I used to pretend I was ‘booked and busy’ just to avoid sitting with myself. Now I’m okay with not having a 5-year plan. Purpose is unfolding.
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Girl, I was there for almost two years — not quite broken but not whole either. What helped me was letting go of timelines. Purpose doesn’t keep office hours. I listened to that inner nudge you talked about. It started with therapy.
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Yes, yes, and yes. I thought chemistry meant alignment. But I’ve learned that without clarity, even good people will confuse you. I slowed down, did shadow work, and allowed silence to teach me. Now I’m selective about everything.
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Being in-between is part of the becoming. For me, it took a heartbreak and leaving a job I hated to even admit I didn’t know what I really wanted. I’m rebuilding from the inside now, and it feels like planting — quiet but powerful.
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The in-between space can feel like failure, but it’s actually the prep room for your real story. I always tell younger girls: the fog isn’t failure. It’s formation. Give yourself grace, and don’t rush to give your heart to anyone until you’ve held it with care.
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I’ve built businesses and still had moments of ‘what am I doing with my life?’ Because purpose evolves. I think the mistake is thinking it’s one clear destination. It’s not. It’s layers. I found mine by mentoring others — sometimes we find purpose in service.
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This topic… it’s the truth. Clarity often comes after chaos. I’ve been through marriage, motherhood, and loss — and still had to revisit the question: ‘Who am I now?’ Don’t despise your fog. That mist holds miracles. Just keep moving, even slowly.
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